Banjo Kazooie: The Final Showdown (Remastered Edition)
by thatretrogamer
Summary: Funny how that works, you jump out of the frying pan and land in the fire. Something Banjo and Kazooie do all to often, but it wouldn't be an adventure if things didn't get a little spicy this time around now would it? (Re-writing the chapters)
1. Opening poam

_Banjo Kazooie_

 _Final showdown_

 _Hype poem_

 _The Greatest Heist_

 _(I used to be good at these)_

 _In a land far away, the once was a witch, who felt she was best of the best._

 _She took what she wanted, and did as she pleased, leaving nothing but dirt for the rest._

 _One day she discovered that she wasn't pretty, this left her feel like sandpaper, Gritty, but she had a plan that was ever so witty, but alas, she was bested for once._

 _A bird, a bear, and a little dumb mole, left her too rot in a dank little hole, she plotted how she would flatten that dunce._

 _After try two, she had nothing to do, but slowly bounce back too her tower, but on the the way there she was enchanted with thoughts about the greatest, most fearsome power._

 _The lord of games had all that she needed, she just had too get locked in the place he secreted, he's most deadly and dangerous creations deleted, or so that's what they all thought._

 _The bear and the bird had thought they had won, but their struggles had only just begun, and when she is finished, she will proudly have done what she tried for the last 20 years._

 _ **And so began the greatest heist.**_


	2. Chapter one (The Greatest Heist)

_Banjo Kazooie_

 _The Final Showdown_

 _Chapter one:_

 _ **~~The Greatest Heist~~**_

She had been preparing for weeks, pulling all the strings and orchestrating everything. Her Paws were covered in grime and sweat, her legs aching from the week she had endured. Her plan was simple, wait for the fire alarm, blow a hole in the floor where she had been instructed to, steal "the thing". She had been preparing for this for so long, she wasn't nearly as anxious as she was before. Her supervisor looked in her general direction, noticing her exhaustion. "Hey, you've been working harder than most of the men on your shift, why don't'ya take a break?"

She was tempted but she needed to be on this docking bay when the commotion broke out. "Thanks… but I'll… I'll keep working sir"

Her supervisor shrugged before returning to his job, inspecting the production of the pieces of machinery that were being assembled. She started violently cranking bolts into the parts she was assembling, causing lubricant oil to ooze out of the cracks and drip into her arms and face. She caught her reflection in one of the pieces of scrap she removed from the assembly, her bright orange fur made the oil and dirt stand out almost as much as she did. According to her superiors "a pretty little thing like her didn't belong in a place like this"

She of course she knew that was true, but it was an cruel and unusual punishment for her behaviour, which justified her situation.

Just as she started pushing the scrap cart, a loud, wailing siren went off. This was her que to begin. As all the other assembly workers started too surge out of the loading gates, she slipped away into the back room, this was where she would get the bomb. It was a package that had its return stamp scraped off, that's why it was here rather than in the post room. She looked over her shoulder before hoisting it on her shoulder, and carefully bringing it to the loading bay. Just as she walked back onto the bay, one of her supervisors walked into the dock, he must have come back looking for her.

Almost like second nature, she played as a "damsel in distress" and dropped to the ground and started groaning. Her ankle in her hands. "Someone help" She whimpered, just loud enough for her hog tusked friend too come and rescue her. Just as she expected, he came running towards her. "Oh god, what happened?"

She started sniffling, fake tears streaming down her face. "It… it all happened so fast, the sirens, everyone was running, I fell… they trampled me like I was nothing!" The hogs breath was revolting, but she needed to get rid of him. "Can you walk?" She shook her head. "I think you'll have to carry me"

As he started to lift her up, she swiftly wrapped her legs around his thick neck, knocking him down, she listened to his struggles, her heart was pounding, her pleaded with her till the bitter end. When he stopped shaking, she let go of him, she didn't think about what she had just done, what the witch had promised her was far worth it, she was doing this for the right reason.

She stood up and returned too her bomb, and armed it. As she ran away from the device, one of the other factory workers had walked in, presumably because the supervisor hadn't yet returned.

He got the worst of it as the earth shaking force was unleashed, he didn't stand a chance. It was starting to get at her, in a span too two minutes she went from hard working member of the plant, too a murderer.

The hole in the ground exposed the secret room underneath, now all she needed to do was grab "the thing"

It was supposedly a black, non-reflective ring with a gem in it, whatever it did, it better have been worth all this risk.

She dropped down into the dark room below, her keen eyes adjusted to the dark rather quickly, now it was time too search.

She knew she needed to move fast, the explosion couldn't have gone unnoticed, it would be a matter of minutes before she would be under a lot of heat.

She started feeling around the room, but she only found cracks and holes, but then she found something odd. One of the cracks had a metallic rod, she felt if with her nimble fingers, and flipped it with a click. The wall started sinking into the floor with a satisfying ticking sound. She leapt through the opening before the door had fully opened, she didn't have time to goof around.

She ran down the hallway on the other side, her baggy jumpsuit was stained with tar, lubricant, and other substances that she didn't want to think about. She could see a bright light at the end of the hall, it reflected of the wet, mossy brick walls around her, she hoped that she was going the right way. She slowed down as she entered the room, she felt like she had suddenly walked onto the set of a scifi movie. The walls were coated in quartz, one single light beamed in through the centre of the room, down onto a big safe in the middle of the room. This wasn't part of the plan, she was told it would be an easy in and out, no hassle. She felt cheated, it was almost too good to be true when she first heard of the plan, maybe she missed a detail in all the pointless rhymes, but now that she was here, there was no way out.

Just as her hope had run out, a faint droning sound started to become apparent, some quartz had become displaced and began falling from the wall. When the wall gave way, a rush of hot air blasted through, almost like someone had been burning a hole in the ground with a laser.

"I knew you were clever, but more than I thought, you're potential is too good to left here to rot" said a familiar voice, as the old hag had stepped down from her hole with a big, steaming laser drill in her grasp.

She looked at the witch sideways "Wait, if you could have just drilled your way down here too begin with, then why did you need me?"

The witch seemed too ignore her as she started to power up the drill, aiming it straight at the big, shiny safe. The sound it made was hellish, crackling and piping as heat began to explode from the barrel and melt a hole in the side of the box. It only took a few seconds too get the door off. "I needed to see if you could hold on your own, I now see you're better than I could ever have known, with you by my side, we surely will win, I'll make a nice rug from that stupid bears skin"

She stuck her metallic hand into the smouldering vault. Pulling out the treasure she had waited 3 long years too finally poses. "Ok, now that we have the ring, how do we get out?" The witch smiled deviously, slapping that heavy metal drill too her back. "Wait… your not thinking what I…"

The witch kicked in by saying. "Come on Feebi, you're in or you're out, either way I'm using the same route"

"Feebi" that's a name she hadn't heard in a while. "Alright alright, just try not to crash into anything hard or sharp," Feebi exclaimed. The old hag scooped her up and started powering up the laser.

 ** _And just like that, the world's greatest heist was had been pulled without any interference._**

 _So I'm back… again… again, I guess._

 _I've been taking a break because some really depressing things happened in my life recently and I needed too just go back to being a properly sleeping member of society, but now I'm back._

 _So I've been writing for a bit over a year now, and I can say that I'm still proper trash, I am also taking my annual break from my current story to let fresh ideas run through my head, and I decided that since I single handedly RUINED the original Final Showdown, I should try even harder too personally perfect the remake._

 _Remember, I'm literally running the pace of my story writing on how many reviews I get, the more I get, the more motivated I tend to be when it comes too this kinda thing._

 _I love all of you guys, see you in the next chapter_

 _(I'll be sure to address reviews in the author notes as the reviews come along)_


End file.
